your mistakes should be your motivation not your excuses.

I am feeling really really good atm, the calmest and most content I've felt in a very long time Alhamdullilah :). Things don't always have to be or seem perfect, just having the opportunity to live another day, take another breath of fresh air is more than enough for me. I feel more myself than ever, or more like I feel I'm on my way to becoming the person I want to be inshAllah. I've learnt so much these past couple of months especially, and I am so grateful. One thing I've learnt recently is that you should never let anyone tell you what makes you happy and what doesn't, what's good for you and what isn't, what's considered 'normal' and what's not. I've learnt that wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it and right is right even if no one is doing it. I've learnt that you can't please humans, no matter how hard you try, most people will either dislike you for your success or for your stupidity. But Allah swt, He praises you and loves you more than anything when you're living your life pleasing him. Life isn't easy, it's true that it's probably always easier to say yes than no, it's easier to give in than hold back. But why would you want to be praised by people who are nothing more than flesh, when instead you can be praised by the One who created every single molecule? No more excuses inshAllah, I want Allah swt to be happy with me before anything or anyone else, I want Him to put Barakah in the things that I do and the things that I get, I don't want anything that comes from His wrath. They say "no pain, no gain" and yeah maybe it's difficult to refrain from or to avoid certain things but it'll save you soo much pain in the long run. We should all look at life with a positive attitude, not because you're trying to constantly look like a happy person but because you have been blessed to be alive, you were worthy enough to be created by Allah and He chose you to be apart of this righteous religion. Again, no matter how bad your life gets, it will always be better than someone else's, not only that but you were given opportunities that majority of the world wasn't given, count your blessings at night. The key to happiness isn't having everything you want, but being amongst nothingness and still appreciating it. Alhamdullilah truly, for everything.*